ugh

It's only been 4 days since I had that argument and I still regret every single thing I said. Why do I have to be so damn negative? If I wasn't so damn negative I could be enjoying my first week of school but instead I have to put up with this thing that never completely leaves my thoughts. 4 days and already I miss talking to her. If I could just have a chance to apologize.... but in this case I'm not too sure if that would work because apparently "I said what I needed to say". That one sentence scares the hell outta me. That along with "mabe you should talk to someone else". I don't know what to do. I want to call her but if she's tired of my negativity theres nothing I can do. And if she reads this she might take it as me being negative. It's not.

I am at a complete loss over what to do. All I ask is one more chance.
I don't know how to deal with this feeling of missing someone. I also hate seeing the look of disgust on her face when she sees me.

That hurts the most.