Summer thoughts.

Long time no post. It's not like anyone reads this anyway.Well, I'm down to my last few weeks of summer and I'm sure that I'm gonna find myself getting more and more depressed as the days go on. I never have anything to do, never get invited to anything, and I guess I must give off some sort of "weird" vibe that keeps people from talking to me on AIM. I mean, I actually know the people I'm talking to, only thing is I've never really spoken to them in real life. I dunno, its weird. My goal of guitar playing doesn't seem to be getting anywhere either. I don't practice enough.

I managed to finish summer school geometry with an A. Most of my friends seem to think that getting a summer school A is ten times easier than getting a regular school A. I think the only thing that makes a summer school A easier to achieve is the fact that during summer school, one doesn't have to worry about doing homework for other classes.

There really is nothing interesting to write about that happened during my summer. I've been talking on the phone with this one girl every night for months now and after something that happened recently, I'm starting to feel used. I kinda get the feeling that she's just using me to make someone else jealous and doesn't really want anything else to do with me. I'm the one who as to come with her to go to someone's house just because she's uncomfortable being with them alone. And when that happens, it's as if she's the one who did me a favor by letting me come with her. I mean, I know I have no life but there's no need for you to drag me along and then act as if you just did me the greatest favor. However she has managed to help me a lot with my problems, but even after all that I feel like I'm just the person she talks to when she can't talk to a particular person. I managed to waste 3 hours of my time trying to help her with an essay and didn't even get a thank you at the end. Maybe its just the fact that shes more of a people person than I am. Or maybe its just me being jealous of how close her and the other person are. Its even possible that I just have such low confidence in myself that I automatically assume that when someone is nice to me they're trying to get something from me. The only thing is, I'm not very rich so theres not much in the way of materials that I can offer. Actually theres not much of anything that I can offer her which just makes me feel more used. I remember one of my friends telling me that if you don't worry about peoples motives, you'll be a lot happier. I should start doing that. I think I'll start by not talking to her for an entire day. The only thing is, that is going to be very, very difficult because this is the person I've been talking to nightly since April. I guess I'll give it a shot.

Maybe one day someone will read this blog...