Happy entry/Bitchy entry

Reading back on my blog, (again) I noticed that there are only a few occasions where I've blogged about something that's not negative. I'm going to make it a point to write about some happy events more often in here. Of course, first I have to experience some happy events, seeing as I've been lacking in that area for quite a while now. I suppose I could start now by just writing about something happy in my past.

I think that out of my last 3 days of school, the best and most fun was the last Monday. First period in itself wasn't all that different. We had to do a physical test of sorts which involved basketball, volleyball, softball, and badminton. Out of all those, the only one I was able to pass first time was the badminton. Once we got the tests out of the way we had the rest of the period free. Unfortunately, the period happened to be 2 and a half hours long and the tests only took about 45 min. This wouldn't normally be a problem except for the fact that first period has never really been a great period for me. Theres not too many people for me to talk to. I ended up passing time the same way I always do. Talking to my mexican buddy Adrian. One of the funny moments was when a certain someone managed to throw bounce a ball off me straight into his head. About 10 minutes after that I walked away from PE for the last time.

Second period was where I had all the fun. Of course I had to finish my final first but the half hour of cramming I had the night before helped loads. Once everyone was done with their finals second period biology became fun. Teacher brought us food so we all ate some pizza and stuff. Some of the things that happened during this nearly 3 hour period were

*Nipple twist fight (Immature right?)
*Soda drinking challenge
*Walking into another class still taking their test.
*The theft of a friend's bag.
*The obligatory guitar circle (I was just observing)
*Our attempt at playing Half-Life on a laptop (we had one person controlling each movement)
*Carving up a watermelon using a flimsy 4 inch butterfly knife.
*Reminiscing on the previous year.

I realize now that I should have written this down sooner (as in the same day) but I figure better late then never right?

Moving on to something else...

Today has been a LOT easier for me compared to yesterday. Yesterday around this time I was feeling terribly depressed and I felt as if there was no point in me trying anymore. Today I still feel the same unhappiness about my life as I did yesterday except now I feel as if I can change it. Thats not exactly the best way for me to describe how I feel today but its as close as I'm probably going to get.

I suppose part of the reason why I'm depressed is that I've had to recently quit my buddypal.
For any of those wondering, (probably no one) my buddypal is someone that I've been talking to every night for the past 5 months. I know that the way I refer to her might make it seem as if she's imaginary but I assure you, buddypal is a real person. Thats just our nickname for each other. Anyway, I've been able to tell her all sorts of things that I could never tell anyone else and she's probably the closest thing to a best friend I'm ever gonna have. I think the fact that I have to stop talking to her now (she's got a bf) definitely contributes to my depression. Now that I can't talk to her, there's no one for me to confide in anymore. If I were still talking to her I would probably just tell her about my depression and I'd end up feeling better. Now that I've had to stop talking to her I've had to deal with my dissatisfaction of my life by myself. And thats not something I've had to do in more than 5 months.

Well that was my attempt at making a happy-ish blog entry. You may notice that it started out as such but quickly turned into another entry about how my life sucks. The explanation for that is the first half of this entry and the second half were written at different times.