rawr summer

It's summer! Well, it's been summer for about 3 weeks now. So far, I managed to land myself a job, meet a couple of new people, and get kicked out my summer class several times. Summer's been pretty boring fer me so far tho. I can't quite figure out why thought. I'm at summer school from Monday thru Thursday and then I work Saturday and Sunday. If I'm not at work there's a good chance I'm with some people. And yet I still call this summer boring. EH.

The one thing that has happened so far this is summer is the fact that I seem to be having some sort of problem with everyone. Theres the girl that I met before school ended, and so far I have no idea what she thinks of me. Whether I'm just a voice on the phone or an actual friend I have no idea. I know so little about her and the worst part is I'm too scared to try and find out more. Then there's the girl who I thought was like my sister. Only thing was is that she was slowly freezing me out and I was in too much denial to actually realize. Now we're at the point that it seems like we're total strangers and I have no idea how I can bring back the bond. Then theres the problem of whatserface. I find myself constantly complaining about her to whoever will listen and it's now its just bleh. I want her out of my life though. The only thing stopping me from that is the fact that every time I try, I end up reminiscing bout the good times. And in my case, the good times weren't even that good. The worst part is, I'm still talking about her now. I think that really proves that I'm still stuck on her.

Back to that girl. The one who I figured was like a sister. Two days after I crashed my truck, I got a speeding ticket in her mom's car fer goin 53 in 35 zone. For those two days I would freak out every time my phone rang because it would either be the guy I hit bugging me about whether I was going to settle, or the insurance company buggin me bout makin a statement over what had happen. My point is, I was really stressed for those two days and I did not need a speeding ticket making things worse. During this time, I was under the impression that i would be paying for most of the damages so I had that on my mind as well. Basically, I was stressed as hell fer those 2 days when this girl decides to make a joke about how "raph's not a boy". That was what brought me over. Granted, I coulda dealt with it in a better way then just walking out of the house but eh. In any case, things between us have been really different since that day. When I tried talking to her it was as if I was talking to a complete stranger. I found out from one of her friend's that she's mad at me although I have no idea what for. I suppose having to deal with me constantly complaining bout whatserface mighta been a factor but theres no way I can know that now.

Something something something. Just pretend I wrote something here that wraps everything up. I hate conclusions. But I love Rachel. =]