midnight entry

It's midnight and I'm in my living room listening to music. I love this song. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Dunno why but I'm listening to it now. I'm mostly thinking right now. Thinking about how I've probably lost the best friend that I could ever want and yet I still hold out hope that things will go back to the way they were. I won't even admit to myself that it's never gonna be the same. I can't talk abot it with friends because it's such a silly thing to make a big deal out of while they have actual problems. So I try to keep it to myself. Most of my friends know the what but no mor than 2 or 3 know the why. I should sleep now.

I just thought about something that I really miss. Back when me and buddypal were speaking, I would be able to discuss with her all the things I could never do with anyone else. Turns out I have a few feminine traits. idk. I really need to sleep.